Published: May 05, 2025 at 03:50 PM
Tags: journal, worship, writing, poetry, diet, reflection
Running into Sunday with absolutely zero sleep is a special kind of disorientation. I’m not sure how I managed to function, but I did. And somehow, the Lord’s Day worship and breaking of bread was good, peaceful, weighty, needed.
I had something on my heart to share during the meeting, but once again, I kept quiet. I don’t know why I freeze up when it matters. It’s frustrating, because it felt like something I was meant to say. And I didn’t.
There was a baptism at the hall after. That always puts things in perspective. New beginnings, public faith, the beauty of submission. After everyone left, I stayed behind and spent most of the afternoon alone at the hall. Tried to nap a bit, didn’t happen. Ended up making a coffee and settling in reading my Bible for a while.
Later, while editing the audio from the day’s messages, I managed to put the wrong last name on one of the speakers. As soon as people noticed, I felt embarrassed and honestly, kind of foolish.
This week’s writing goal is to wrap up an article I’ve been drafting in hopes of submitting it somewhere. I also unearthed some very old poetry; cringy stuff from years back; that I’m thinking of retyping and archiving. Maybe I’ll even post a few, if I can get over the secondhand embarrassment. There’s also a Christian-centered article I keep setting aside. Feels like it deserves more attention than I’ve been giving it, even if I don’t know who’s actually reading any of this besides me.
Might look into some local outlets for submitting writing, too. I don’t expect much, but I want to start trying more. If nothing else, it helps me keep moving.
The diet’s still on track, even if the weight loss has slowed a bit. Still, slow progress is better than none, and definitely better than the alternative.
That ministry message from Sunday morning has stuck with me. Still chewing on it. No flashy takeaway yet, just the quiet nudge that there’s something there I need to sit with.
Anyway, that’s where I’m at. Tired. Reflective. Trying.